The Realities of a ‘Mixed Marriage’
The photo is sourced from the Belfast Live and is not a representation of the couple.
Born into a Protestant family, William* attended Foyle College in Londonderry before securing a job with a local clothing manufacturer. He attended several training courses at colleges in England and constantly met people who told him, “sure, there’s Irish in my family too!”
As a naïve 16-year-old, he vividly remembers dating a Catholic girl. One day they were happily walking up Waterloo street, hand in hand, wearing their school uniforms – he in his Protestant Foyle College uniform and she in her Catholic Thornhill College uniform. Within seconds, they saw four young lads walking towards them. As they passed by, one of them suddenly spat at William and called him a “Jaffa bastard!”
When William got home, he asked his mother what they’d meant. She laughed and explained he’d been called a “Jaffa” because they’d assumed he was an “Orangeman”, quickly adding that he obviously wasn’t and that he definitely wasn’t a “bastard!” He still laughs about it today when he recalls how green (forgive the pun) he was!
When talking of his wife, he describes it as “love at first sight!” William says of Gina, “I was moved to a rural factory and was being introduced to the staff by my boss. I was 28, and she was only 20. Gina was from a Catholic family (Italian Grandfather) with dark hair and that beautiful olive skin. She was gorgeous (and still is!), and I knew right then that I would marry her.” They’ve been married now for 34 years,
One Friday afternoon, when they’d finished work, Gina asked William to give her and a friend a lift into Derry to do some shopping. He invited them to the Mourne Bar for a drink before they parted company. Left on their own for a brief moment, he’d been staring at Gina when she’d asked what was wrong. He laughs again when he recalls his cheesy answer, “nothing, I’m looking at your lips; they need to be kissed!”
Gina lived in quite a Republican area, and William lived in a Protestant area in Derry. It never concerned him, not once, that Gina was Catholic. However, her father began to worry when he thought the relationship was becoming obsessive, announcing that if William came near the house again, he’d get “the two barrels.” An optimistic friend of William’s suggested perhaps it meant he’d get two barrels of beer (ah, bless). But somehow, William didn’t think so!
Gina’s dad was a devout Catholic who, whilst working for the Forestry Commission, naively joined the UDR part-time during the early days of the Troubles. He decided to leave quite quickly when he concluded that metal shutters on his windows and front door and having to meet callers after dark with his shotgun was not conducive to a happy home life.
A year after the couple started seeing each other, they got engaged on Gina’s 21st birthday. William was asked to meet the local priest one evening for a “wee chat..” Unfortunately, he’d also accepted an invitation for a few drinks with the lads in the cutting room at the factory as it broke up for Christmas. When he did manage to make it back to pick up a furious Gina, she’d shouted angrily at him, “look at the state of you! We’re seeing Father Malley tonight!”
William apologised profusely and tried his best to pacify her as he explained, “but I only had a few drinks with the lads.” It goes without saying the eventual meeting was not a success since Gina’s parents were later told by Father Malley “that one’s too set in his ways!”
Sadly the relationship with Gina’s parents collapsed, and the young couple booked a holiday to the Caribbean island of St Lucia. William secretly ticked the “Honeymoon Special”, and after changing flights at Heathrow, the BA cabin crew announced there was a honeymoon couple on board. The whole flight clapped and congratulated them, and they were presented with a bottle of champagne. Gina was a little shocked but delighted even though William warned her it was going to be a very small wedding.
During the first week, they organised the church and the licence, signed by the Governor of the island as was the legal requirement. Word spread quickly as the couple made friends with guests and hotel staff. The best man was actually there on his own honeymoon, and his wife became Gina’s bridesmaid. William borrowed a jacket from another holidaymaker who gave Gina away, and another couple suggested their young daughter act as a flower girl. Another guest even offered to video and photograph the whole event! Remember, this was 34 years ago before packaged “Weddings abroad” were even thought about :)
As William was leaving the church, he was approached by a guy who introduced himself and his French Canadian wife. He explained he was originally from Pennyburn in Derry and had emigrated to Canada 25 years earlier. When William invited them to attend the reception, he accepted immediately, saying, “me ma will never believe I was at a Derry man’s wedding in St Lucia!”
Although there was no immediate family in attendance, the guest list had somehow grown to 30, with the hotel laying on a cake and champagne. It’d been a truly wonderful day!
Arriving back home just before they were due to return to work, Gina rang home to tell her parents she and William had married. Her mother worked in the same factory, and Gina wanted to prepare her. The following day word spread fast around the site, and Gina’s mother became so upset with all the questioning she had to leave for home.
There was no communication from then on with Gina’s family until the birth of their daughter Orla a while later. Gina’s dad contacted her and asked if he and his wife could see Gina and meet their newly born granddaughter. This resulted in a complete reversal of fortunes, and the ice was finally, and to everyone’s relief, broken.
Shortly after their son Shane was born seven years later, William was offered the position of Operations Director with a UK-based company. It meant the whole family would move to Colombo, Sri Lanka, where the offshore production facility was.
The children attended an international school made up of 26 different nationalities. There were Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim and Christian pupils with no mention of Catholic or Protestant. Home was never far away from their thoughts, especially when William’s driver, Randolph, continued to play his favourite Daniel O’Donnell tapes in the car!
The family never encountered any religious bigotry whilst in Sri Lanka and had friends from all sections of the community. However, upon returning home to Derry, Orla was quickly asked what religion she was. She was proud to respond by saying, “I’m half and half.” Even though Shane returned to his original primary school class, he was renamed “P*ki” given his skin had become so dark from the sun.
Within days of returning home to Derry, William was surprisingly offered a job in Tarapur, India and Gina was left to unpack their 20 ft container of personal belongings from Sri Lanka. Ouch!
William describes India as “an attack on the senses!” Sri Lanka had only partially prepared him for India’s fast, highly populated and industrious society. This job led to another project in Romania, where he was offered a General Manager’s position. However, given the lack of English-speaking schools, that would’ve been too detrimental to the children’s education. He turned it down.
Additional work then took William to Estonia, Turkey, China and Bangladesh. Importantly, he accepted these offers knowing Gina was providing the children with a solid and safe family environment back home in Derry.
William returned, and he and Gina are now settled and happily living in Derry. However, no doubt encouraged by their worldwide adventures at such an early age, their two children live in Perth, Western Australia.
Like many proud Derry families, William and Gina are counting the days until they can once again fly to Australia and finally hug the children they’ve missed so much.
Bon voyage (hopefully soon!) :)
*Please note names have been changed to protect the family's privacy.
